Sexy Clone
Transcript in/carpet music stares at the camera. Begins to cry. Closer up. Water is pouring off his cheeks and chin. Closer up. Water is pouring off his eyes, cheeks, chin. Begins to audibly sob. Justin Bieber cut his hair. sobbing How'd it get wet up here? at his forehead Waiter beard intro sob Over it. Hey, happy Celebrity Day. That's right. It's Celebrity Day. A Scientology holiday. Scientoliday? Holitology? Scientolo-oliday? Celebrity Day celebrates the Church of Scientology's many celebrity centers. At first, I was like, What? on screen: What? But then I saw that they spelled 'centres' with the R before the E so then I was like Whta? on screen: Whta? from Wikipedia: Celebrity Cent-res are Church of Scientology facilities that are open to the public but mostly serve artists and celebrities. The Church often quotes L. Ron Hubbard as saying that A culture is only as great as its dreams and its dreams are dreamed by artists. Allow me to paraphrase. 'My church needs money money money money, oh hey, Tom Cruise... that seat taken? Would you like to try some of my popcorn? How 'bout my belief system'? on screen: My church needs money money money money, oh hey, Tom Cruise... that seat taken? Would you like to try some of my popcorn? How 'bout my belief system? - L. Ron Hubbard His quote might be a little bit catchier but mine has a celebrity cameo. Now I owe Tom Cruise some residuals. But anyway, I digress. Who needs a day set aside for them more than celebrities? Sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm. I love 'em! I'm always going to pop culture news to check up on what's going on with Will Smith of Scarlett Johansson, Sean Penn of Scarlett Johansson, the cast of Friends pictures of Scarlett Johansson, Ernest Borgnine of Ernest Borgnine. I even made a clone on this special day specifically bred to be a celebrity. Sexy clone... is actually me. I'm the clone. Can you tell? Well, wait. collar Now you can. In the comments, lezalel writes, how come there is no sexy clone? up his hair You're welcome. I think the coffee's done. I love it when the coffee's done. bites at camera. Catwalk to the coffee. up, starts strutting towards the coffee, stops, closeup of sexy clone raising his eyebrows, turns, laughs, sucks in his cheeks, making a pouty/kissy face, continues on towards the coffee, pulls out coffee pot, pours coffee while wiggling eyebrows, poses, struts back to the camera, sits down. Extreme closeup of sexy clone sipping the coffee, licking his lips, biting his lower lip, pops his collar again, turns to the camera, and winks (ding) Waiter video game outro outtakes: At first I was like, what? But then I saw that they celeb... celebrated? No, they spelled. They did not celebrate. Well, they did celebrate celebrities but they spelled centers with the R before the E and that's what I'm going to say NOW. At first I was like, what? But then I saw that they spelled... Ah, nope, I didn't say it. clone turns to the camera, raises an eyebrow. And again. And again, this time whipping his head towards camera. And again, sucking in his cheeks making a kissy face. And again and sexy clone messes up his hair before sucking in his cheeks. Aaah, I actually hurt my neck. Modeling's hard. clone spins and faces camera, sucking in his cheeks, making a kissy/pouty face. Recurring themes This is the first appearance of sexy clone. carpet music, Wikipedia, coining new words, Scarlett Johansson, responding to comments, "I love it when the coffee's done", wink, outtakes Wink This is the first wink in a long time that Wheezy does himself. Or Sexy Clone, that is.